MASH Forever!

In honor of the start of the hunting season, which I am told coincides with my birthday, here are some classic quotes about guns from Jerry's and my all-time favorite TV show, MASH:

Hawkeye: I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun.

Col. Potter: Where's your gun? Hawkeye: Sulking under my cot. We're not at speaking terms. Col. Potter: Go kiss it and make up. You're taking it with you. Hawkeye: Colonel, if I touch that gun, I'll trigger another argument. Col. Potter: Pierce, You're taking your sidearm. Hawkeye: [Holding up each arm in turn] Correct, I'm taking along my right side arm and my left side arm.

[both drunk, under fire, in a foxhole] Col. Potter: I said fire that weapon. Hawkeye: All right. [to the gun] Hawkeye: You're fired. [to Potter] Hawkeye: I did it as gently as I could. Col. Potter: That was an order, Pierce. Hawkeye: [Snapping his fingers] Oh waiter, would you take this man's order, please?

Margaret: Who the hell are you supposed to be? Charles: This is the latest in hunting attire from Ambercrombie & Fitch. Margaret: Well, you look like an overgrown bagpipe.

And a couple of others in honor of Jerry who made me a delicious meal for my birthday yesterday as well brought home a yummy ice-cream cake and pretty flowers! (these are just a couple of our favorite quotes, I wish I could find some of the others we love):

Father Mulcahy: "Now I lay me down to sleep, a bag of peanuts at my feet. If I should die before I wake, give them to my brother Jake."

[a chopper is carrying Lt. Col. Blake's desk away] Hawkeye: Pardon me, Henry, isn't that your desk? Henry Blake: Yeah, that's my genuine antique desk. Trapper: Sending it out to be waxed? Henry Blake: I'm not sure what it's doing up there. Just keeps going up... up... up... Hawkeye: To a far, far better place, I'm sure.

[Klinger goes hang-gliding past in a housecoat and slippers] Hawkeye: Did you see that? Nurse: What? Hawkeye: A big red bird with fuzzy pink feet. Trapper: Hawkeye, did you see that? Hawkeye: What did you see? Trapper: A big red bird with fuzzy pink feet. Hawkeye: [to the nurse] See?

AND THE GREATEST QUOTE OF ALL...Fr. Mulcahy: "Friends, let me tell you something, however compulsory it may be. There's no film. I'm live. Now back to where we were when you last heard from me. It was with Leviticus on the 10th I believe. Drink thee not nor thee thou sons, lest ye die. Nor congregate at the corner tabernacle. I'd like to take a short sabbatical. Or a cup of coffee. Or I wonder is there a doctor in the tent?"